Most people like to think that there’s always a ‘best’ solution to every single problem. However, there are some situations that are so complex, there’s usually no clear answer—only the choice between similarly bad outcomes. When you’re pressed with a huge dilemma, it’s worth it to try and talk to your family and friends about it. But sometimes, you feel so emotionally close to the situation that you need to take a step back and let the internet figure it out.
That’s exactly what one redditor did. The woman asked the AITA community for advice about an intense situation that was happening in her home at the time. Her daughter, who was 17 years old back then, was pregnant. However, the OP, who had recently retired, didn’t want to essentially be the baby’s mother while her daughter went off to work. The author had already raised her kids and wasn’t planning on spending her retirement years doing the same thing all over again.
So she told her daughter that she has until she gives birth to find another place to live. The AITA community reacted in a very unusual way this time around. Scroll down for the full story and the reactions, Pandas. And if you’d like to share your opinion about all of this, make sure to leave a comment at the bottom of the post.
Some situations are so complicated that there are no easy solutions
Image credits: Leah Kelley (not the actual photo)
A woman shared why she asked her pregnant teen daughter to move out of the house and asked the internet for their take
Image credits: Binyamin Mellish (not the actual photo)
Image credits: notinmyhouse123
The OP explained how her teenage daughter wasn’t in a relationship with the father, and how “practically every adult in her life” told her that she shouldn’t continue with the pregnancy. However, the teenager decided that she was keeping the baby.
However, that led to a whole plethora of other issues that needed to be solved. Where would the teen mom live? What would she do to get by? Well, she decided that she’d get a job after giving birth. But that meant that somebody would have to stay at home and take care of the baby. And the OP wasn’t going to do that: “Absolutely not, I’m not raising another baby.”
According to the author of the viral AITA post, after the conversation with her daughter, she came to believe that “if she has this baby in this house, I’m practically going to be its mother.” However, she was still having some doubts about asking the mom-to-be to move out, so she turned to the internet for advice.
Somewhat surprisingly, the AITA community’s verdict was, overwhelmingly, that there were no jerks here (aka NAH) in this story.
Raising a child can seem like a daunting task to some parents-to-be. So it’s important to remember what to focus on. Recently, Bored Panda spoke about parenting with single mom and talented creative Ariane Sherine, who’s raising an 11-year-old daughter. She said that, in her opinion, parenting is very hard work, but that it’s “so worth it.”
“She’s adorable, kind, fun, hilarious, smart, talented and thoughtful and she teaches me new things every day. It wasn’t easy leaving her dad and becoming a single mum when she was 17 months old, but it was necessary for my happiness and for my daughter’s stability, and my love for her got us through it. Being a mum has improved my life immeasurably and taught me to put another person first and think of their needs before my own,” she opened up to us.
“She was a difficult toddler who would have giant meltdowns in the supermarket. She was also very active and wanted to walk everywhere (and swing on bars and somersault on railings!) which for a sedentary parent was exhausting. She was incredibly curious, and walking anywhere would take forever as she had to examine every leaf and flower by the roadside and collect all the pebbles and sticks (and if I didn’t let her, she would scream and scream!). But that phase came and went and now I have a wonderful eleven-year-old who is my whole world,” Ariane told us.
According to the mom, what’s essential to being a good parent is actually wanting to have the child. “If you don’t love the thought of being a mum or dad, you’re likely to resent having to put your children first. Secondly, that love for them is what powers you through the difficult times—and there will be difficult times. So do it because you know your life wouldn’t be complete if you don’t,” she said.
“Plenty of people are very happy and fulfilled without being parents. It just so happens that I wouldn’t have been one of them, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a perfectly valid life choice,” the mom noted that whether or not to be a parent is a very subjective decision.
“Your kid will probably grow out of whatever behavior they’re displaying now. The first four years are the most difficult. But at age 4, they go to school, and then you get your life back a bit, for at least six hours a day. See if you can get some help each week, whether that’s grandparents doing a bit of childcare or paying a childminder. Use the extra time to exercise self-care and pamper yourself, whether that means having a massage or just a soak in the bath—do things you wouldn’t be able to do while looking after your child.”
The OP shared a bit more context in the comments
Here’s how many internet users reacted to the tough family dilemma