An father has been branded as ‘controlling and heartless’ after he kicked his pregnant daughter out of the house for lying about getting back together with her ex-boyfriend.
The man, believed to be from the US , took to Reddit thread, ‘Am I The A**hole’, where he asked Redditors to tell him if he’s in the wrong for giving his daughter an ultimatum: choose to keep her baby and not live in his house, or give her child up for adoption.
He described the boyfriend as a ‘scumbag’, and told his daughter that she needed to leave him, or leave her father’s house.
In the post, he wrote: ‘My daughter recently told me and my wife that she’s pregnant and apparently she’s been hiding it for three months.
‘The boyfriend is a scumbag who I thought she left after I gave her an ultimatum to either leave him or leave my house, to which she chose the latter or at least I thought she did.
‘She started sobbing and telling us how sorry she was and that it was just a big mistake. I told her the only way she can stay in our house is if she gave the baby up for adoption, because we won’t allow it to ruin her life.
An anonymous has taken to Reddit thread, ‘Am I The A**hole’, asking Redditors to tell him if he is in the wrong for giving his daughter an ultimatum to choose to keep her baby and not live in his house, or give it up for adoption
The user, u/Throwaway587210, asked the Reddit community what they thought of his tricky situation at home involving his pregnant adult daughter and the boyfriend he doesn’t like
‘She just kept pleading to us that she’ll take care of it, but I had a very hard time believing her after I just found out she’s been lying to me for months and going behind my back to see her boyfriend.
‘My daughter refused to give her baby up to which is when I decided to kick her out of my house, and now she’s staying with a friend for I don’t know how long.
‘My wife has been incredibly sad and is now telling me what I did was wrong. It wasn’t an easy decision for me to make, but I couldn’t allow her to walk away without any consequences.
‘At her age I was already taking care of myself so I don’t look at it the same way others might. Is it really wrong for me to kick my adult daughter out of my house after she lied to me? I’m willing to see if I’ve taken things too far.’
Most users in the comments argued that he was wrong to do this to his daughter.
One person said: ‘You know forbidding your daughter from seeing her boyfriend is just going to make him more desirable right?
‘And how is kicking her out when she is pregnant, vulnerable and in need of stability and love going to help? Yeah, not great parenting I would say.’
Another agreed, saying: ‘It’s funny because he says he doesn’t want her to have the baby because he won’t let ruin her life, except he did just that by throwing her out.
Most people in the thread agreed that the father was wrong for giving his daughter an ultimatum, and instead he needs to reconsider his approach no matter what his feelings are
‘Don’t you think having to raise a baby at 19 is consequence enough. What kind of person are you that you can kick her when she’s down? She’s your daughter for God’s sake.. have some compassion.’
Some Redditors threw their hat in the ring by speaking on their own experiences and how their parents responded to a shock pregnancy.
One said: ‘I had my daughter right before my 19th birthday & guess what? It altered my entire life and body. Also she’s a grown woman.
‘You can’t dictate who she spends times with & you certainly can’t dictate what she does with her body.
‘She’s scared and needs support. Her parents who are meant to be her support system just ghosted her. You sound like my parents and it makes my heart break for your daughter.’
Another added that her parents did the same because they didn’t like her boyfriend.
‘And I left. But you know what happened when I found out I was pregnant? I was in an abusive relationship and my parents had no idea, all they knew was that I was asking to come back home,’ she recalled.
‘And they let me. Because they didn’t want me to face it alone.
‘You may think you’re helping your daughter, but you’re only hurting her so much more. I really hope you read these comments and call your daughter, apologize, and let her come back home.
‘You and her mom are her safe place. Right now she is young, she is scared, and you don’t know if this man is abusive or not.’
Lizardl0unge noted when the father said, ‘At her age I was already taking care of myself so I don’t look at it the same way others might,’, and retorted: ‘And look how lovely he turned out!’
They continued: ‘No empathy or understanding at all. No wonder his daughter chose to hide anything from him (not to mention his wife who I would assume may be too scared to speak up for what she thinks is best).
‘Instead of being able to confide to him about anything and be able to confidently choose a path, she’s having her only option shoved in her face.
On the other side, there were a few Redditors who said he did the right thing and it was time for his daughter to ‘step up’ if she wants to be a mother
‘I truly hope his daughter can come out on the other end thriving and not have to rely on her father for anything in the future as he’ll obviously hold anything he does for her and his future grandchild over her head.’
However, there were a few supportive voices, including one who said: ‘Going against the grain to say everyone sucks here (except your wife).
‘Yeah – you absolutely shouldn’t have kicked her out, that will do nothing except permanently sever your relationship with her.
‘However- getting pregnant and hiding it isn’t really the action of someone who is adult enough to own her own mistakes.
‘I think a more productive way of approaching this might have been to sit down with her and ask for her plans if she wanted to keep it.
‘Where are the funds coming from? Is she expecting you and your wife to pay for it? Is the father going to be contributing? Be absolutely clear you won’t be providing childcare or funds and see what her plans are after that.’
Another agreed with this less popular point of view: ‘Her mistake, her decision, her consequences. This is reality and it has finally bit her.’