I married Mr Perfect then IVF woes drove me to sex with ‘bad boy’

DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE always been seen as a “good girl” – I studied hard, have a good job and married Mr Perfect.

Until I met a proper bad boy through work, I had never put a foot wrong.


We’ve had the most adventurous and passionate sex I’ve ever experienced

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He’s opened up a side to me that I didn’t know existed.

Now I am torn between running a mile and throwing it all in for him.

I’m 31 and my husband is 34. He’s so lovely, kind and genuine but I have to admit there is no spontaneity.

We’ve been trying for a baby for three years and despite two rounds of IVF haven’t had any joy as yet.

He doesn’t want to talk about it. He was supportive to begin with but after our second IVF round failed, he said we need to enjoy life for a while and stop focusing on becoming parents.

I have been trying to embrace other projects and took on a promotion at work, managing my company’s big events.

I’ve loved the challenge and meeting all the new suppliers. I love the new team I work with. I’ve never been much of a drinker but over the past few months have got stuck in and had some pretty wild nights.

My new married boss always buys us all dinner and drinks.

I’ve heard he’s had a number of affairs, but still I couldn’t resist him.

One night as we both got the lift up to our hotel rooms, he leaned over and whispered in my ear that he couldn’t stop thinking about me.

I was so shocked at my response. My whole body melted and by the time the lift stopped we were wrapped around each other.

Since then we’ve had the most adventurous and passionate sex I’ve ever experienced.

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Now I can’t stop thinking about having sex with him again. He’s 46 and in really good shape.

I know my husband doesn’t deserve this but I really don’t know if I can go back to boring marital sex ever again.

DEIDRE SAYS: Stop this affair now before you destroy your marriage and career.

You’ve thrown yourself into work to distract yourself from the fertility challenges you are living through.

And no doubt your affair is part of this escapism.

Turn your attention to your marriage and instead of running away from your fertility disappointments, you need to work through this challenge and all the options together.

Please contact the Fertility Network UK (0800 008 7464, fertilitynetworkuk.org) who can support you.