A man is being supported online for blowing up in anger at his partner’s pregnancy announcement because he thought it was a prank.
The original poster, u/Frigggly, shared his story to the popular Reddit forum r/AmITheA**hole. He earned over 20,600 upvotes and 2,400 comments for his post, “AITA for getting angry when my partner announced she’s pregnant?”
He says that he’s been with his partner for five years. He also explains that due to a childhood injury it was assumed he’d never be able to have a child of his own. Though he’d told her he was infertile when they first started dating, three years ago, he told her more about the trauma he suffered as a child that led to the injury, and she was “really empathetic.”
However, last summer, she and a friend played a prank on him with multiple pregnancy tests. Each one had shown a positive result, and when he came home from work, she told him she was pregnant.
“I started freaking out…a happy freak out cause I thought I had hit the lottery with the slim to none chance I have. They both started laughing, the tests were from the friend and not my partner,” u/Frigggly wrote. “I was pretty much devastated.”
His partner was surprised by his reaction and apologized for the prank, telling him that she thought he’d know immediately it was a prank, given his injury, and that she didn’t mean to hurt him so badly.
Fast forward to three weeks ago, when his partner threw a dinner party with all her family at their house. He says she “had us play this stupid mystery game” before announcing that she was pregnant. Though her family was happy, OP immediately assumed this was another prank. Her family was surprised that he wasn’t celebrating—but things went haywire after what he said next.
“I said to my partner, ‘Either you’re just mentally disturbed or you’re cheating,'” he wrote.
Except that this time, it wasn’t a prank—she was really pregnant. She said that the OP should have known her well enough to know she learned her lesson from the first time. However, he said that if she’d never pranked him, he would have reacted differently. He also casts blame on her decision to tell him at the same time as her family instead of telling him first. She’s upset at him for ruining the announcement and for accusing her of cheating in front of her family.
A man on Reddit is being supported for assuming his wife’s pregnancy announcement was a prank, since she’d pulled the prank just a year before.
While some pranks can be funny, there are some subjects it’s best not to joke about, and pregnancy is one of them. In a pre-April Fool’s story, the Press and Journal urges would-be comedians to do anything other than pretending to be pregnant. These sorts of pranks can be especially hurtful to people with fertility issues—like the OP—or people who have recently lost a child of their own.
“For a moment, try if you can to put yourselves in the shoes of a bereaved parent who is trying to get pregnant and can’t,” Abi Clarke, the chairwoman of Miss, a miscarriage charity based in Aberdeen, Scotland, told the paper. “It can bring a lot of pain, shame and emotions for anyone who has gone through a miscarriage.”
The paper also cites Nara Morrison, a psychotherapist, as urging against these sorts of pranks due to the potential reaction of the prankee. Like with the OP, it’s not out of the question that the partner will be disappointed when it turns out it’s not true. Or, worse, she asks, “What if your partner also had a loss in the past and gets upset?”
Reddit took u/Frigggly’s side.
“[Not the A**hole] That prank was just beyond cruel! And then to announce it with everyone and not tell you privately is insensitive and immature,” u/BrightOrangeFlowers wrote in the top-rated comment with 32,200 upvotes. “Your reaction was to be expected. I see both these as red flags for your relationship.”
“I agree, [Not the A**hole]. The part that gets me is where she says she thought OP would know her well enough that she wouldn’t pull that prank again. But here’s the thing: OP thought he knew her well enough that she wouldn’t have pulled a prank like that to begin with, yet she proved him wrong!! I honestly would’ve thought the same thing now, especially since she was cruel as hell with thinking that pulling a prank like that, and knowing OP’s history, would somehow be acceptable. How she’s mad at him, when it seems she’s playing major mind games with him, is almost the textbook definition of narcissism imo,” u/Poverload237 wrote.
“[Not the A**hole]. She is ‘the boy who cried wolf’. How stupid of her. And she owed you a private conversation about all this, and then to announce it to others only when both of you are ready,” u/kn0tkn0wn wrote.
“[Not the A**hole]. Frankly, that prank was cruel. No wonder you thought an actual announcement was another prank. I’d get a paternity test ASAP after the kid is born, and in the meantime seriously think about if you want to stay attached to this woman. If you do, the two of you need major couples counseling. If you don’t, and the kid is yours, I’d try fighting for full custody. If you don’t, and the kid is not yours, then get out of there,” u/AzulineAmphisbaena wrote.
Newsweek reached out to u/Frigggly for comment.