Just picture this. You have laboured for hours and hours, and pushed out a brand new life into the world. Your new baby is here, and you are sore and damaged. Doctors are busy fussy over your exposed vagina, sewing up the damageâŚ. and your partner pipes upâŚ
âAdd another stitch for me will you.â
Also known as âThe Daddy Stitchâ, âThe Husbandâs Knotâ or a âVaginal Tuckâ â the Husband Stitch is only done to enhance pleasure for the male partner.
What is âThe Husband Stitchâ?
The âHusband Stitchâ is actually a thing. It involves the Doctor adding an additional (and totally unnecessary) stitch in your vaginal opening to make your opening tighter for the additional sexual pleasure of your partner. However, this additional stitch causes ongoing painful consequences to the woman.
It does not make the vagina tighter, only the opening.
Repair of the vaginal opening and perineum after birth is common and is medically necessary. However, over-stitching the area is not.
Complications of The Husband Stitch
Having this extra stitch causes pain and suffering for the woman involved. All of a sudden, sex is painful, and it remains painful FOREVER or until that stitch is removed or reversed, or the vagina is torn again during subsequent births.
Other complications of the Husband Stitch include:
- Persistent bleeding after sex
- Infections at the stitch site including swelling, redness and pus.
- Pain during sex
- Inability to use tampons
- Trouble walking without discomfort
- Sex avoidance
- Scar tissue at the site
- Increased risk of requiring additional stitching in subsequent births
The History of The Husband Stitch
Back in the 1920âs, an episiotomy (or cutting of the vaginal opening) was made popular to make birth easier. And it does, episiotomies are still done to this day, particularly if a vacuum or forceps are required. But episiotomies require repair after birth.
Fast forward to the 1950âs, some Gynoâs thought they could improve on post-birth repair and could not only make the perineum tighter but by adding the extra stitch, could improve both the size and shape of the vagina with the extra stitch.
And Doctors thought they could create more pleasure for men if they âover stitchedâ the area. Hence the birth of The Husband Stitch.
Some Women ASK for The Husband Stitch
Yes we can bitch about how some men really want us to have the extra stitch. But it isnât unheard of for women to request it.
Women who are worried that their partners may find them âlooseâ after birth are requesting an extra stitch or two after birth. Most come back to have the stitch removed down the track.
What You Can Do If You Think You Have a Husband Stitch
Book an appointment with your Gyno for corrective surgery. Most of the time this can be corrected in the surgery under local anaesthetic. Women who have had the condition for a long period of time may need surgery to correct scar tissue.
If you arenât sure if you have one or not, book an appointment at your local Womenâs Clinic. They will be happy to assist.
Here Are Some Real Life Husband Stitch Stories
I Didnât Realise Until My Pap Smear
âFive years after my son was born, I had booked my yearly pap smear at a womenâs clinic rather than see my local Doctor. It was there that the Nurse asked who had stitched me up after birth. She called in her Manager (with my consent) to see and it was then I was told I had the Husband Stitch. They were mortified for me.
I had avoided sex wherever possible since the birth of my son because it was just so sore.â
Elizabeth from Rasmussen, Queensland
The Scaring is Painful and Tight
âI had the husband stitch. A midwife and my Gyno told me and itâs visible. The scaring there is thick and extra tight. I knew that I had a lot of pain and loss of feeling in the area but I didnât know why and I didnât realise it wasnât normal until years later.
Mine was almost 18 years ago and Iâve never regaining feeling or had it stretched out to be comfortable again since.â
Via 192Sticks
My Stitches Were Deemed âToo Closeâ
âI gave birth with midwives and after many months of not being able to have sex, I decided to go see my gynaecologist. She told me I was over-stitched. She did a minor procedure to fix it and once it healed it felt a whole lot better. â
Nicole Strathberg, Karratha WA
It is So Obscene!
âIâm a husband and having watched my wife give birth twice, the idea of even contemplating this request is so obscene, I canât even imagine being friends with guys that are that shallow and emotionally stunted.
I canât believe my wife EVER wanted to have sex again after childbirth once let alone wanting another child. No man would ever go near a woman again if they had to give birth.
Yeah, the husband stitch needs a new name. How about âthe asshole stitch’â.
Brian Withers, Calico NT
My Mother in Law Sucks
âAfter I gave birth to my daughter, my Mother in Law asked with a smirk âDid they give you a courtesy stitchâ⌠Ewww!â
Leonie Jones
Yes Doctors Can Be Sued For Doing This Without Consent
âYes, we can get sued big money if we do a procedure that you did not consent for. There is a lot of confusion however.
Laceration repairs are still done for large enough lacerations that warrant them and not for aesthetic/sexual-related reasons like many people assume. A large enough laceration (3rd or 4th-degree laceration) can cause and involved the anal sphincter muscle (causing issues with pooping) or cause an abnormal connection with the anus (called a fistula).
Ultimately, there needs to be a discussion with your doctor on the risks/benefits before people blanket reject all vaginal repairs after birth.â
Name Withheld