Parent Defended for Not Wanting to Buy Groceries for Pregnant Neighbor

The internet has defended a parent for not wanting to pay for their pregnant neighbor’s groceries.

Published to Reddit’s r/AmITheA**hole forum, a parent under the anonymous username u/aitafeedingneighbors shared their story for feedback from the “AITA” community. The viral post has over 8,000 upvotes and 1,000 comments.

The Redditor began their post by explaining how a young pregnant woman and her daughter recently moved into the apartment across the hall from them. The day they moved in, the original poster (OP) wrote that the woman was on a lot of sites including Nextdoor, Facebook Marketplace and other groups asking for supplies for babies, furniture, toys and clothes for her daughter.

OP explained that the woman’s daughter went to the same summer camp as their kids. However, when school started, the woman took to the groups to ask if anyone could watch her daughter for an hour until she got home, but no payment was mentioned. Their husband “pressured” them into saying yes as the woman’s daughter was friends with their children and they could help each other with their homework.

Above, a woman stressed over groceries. The internet has defended a parent for not wanting to buy groceries for their pregnant neighbor anymore.
Dan Dalton/iStock / Getty Images Plus

OP wrote, “That hour turned into two and she started having dinner with us almost every night. Then the girl told my husband she doesn’t think her mom is eating when she has dinner with us. That day we had a lasagna big enough to feed all of us twice and he sent the leftovers home with her. Then he started to send all of our leftovers home with her, along with clothes our daughters grew out of, toys they don’t want anymore, and he started to buy extra groceries for them,” the parent continued.

The Redditor confirmed that their husband wasn’t buying them anything expensive. He spent $40 to $50 each week on milk, eggs, cereal, fruits, vegetables and meat on occasion for the woman. OP mentioned that he has also been helping out around the house as well.

“I eventually told him to stop sending the leftovers home because I take them for lunch and sometimes the kids also take them, so not having the leftovers is costing us extra money. Plus the $40-50 a week should be spent on our family, not the woman across the hall. He said we can afford it and they need it much more than we do and I said we already do more than enough for them acting as a free daycare for her and giving her daughter dinner 5 days a week. He called me selfish, jealous, and cruel,” they concluded.

Newsweek reached out to u/aitafeedingneighbors for comment.

Newsweek has published several articles regarding food including a dad who was praised online after kicking his sister out for cooking gluten foods in the kitchen, a woman who was bashed for “forgetting” her wallet while eating at expensive restaurants and a couple who was applauded for refusing to give their wedding guests meat options.

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  • You end up doing things you don’t want to do
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  • You want to fit in and want other people to like you
  • You don’t like letting people down
  • You don’t often share your own ideas or opinions

Redditor reactions

“[Not the a**hole]- and I would tell him this- when HE is the one providing the free day care, buying (as in going to the store and actually getting) the extra groceries, cooking the extra food and having to prepare the extra lunches because no leftovers- THEN and ONLY THEN can he call anyone else selfish. It’s all fine and good for him to feel good about himself for what YOU are providing. But nah, he gets no credit for that morally or otherwise,” u/chuckinhoutex wrote, receiving the top comment of over 10,000 upvotes.

“[Not the a**hole]. I’m with you. You guys are already watching her child for free and feeding her, which is super generous. The extra groceries aren’t extravagant but your child also needs a college fund that money could be going into,” u/imothro said.

U/apeapina commented, “[Not the a**hole] I’m afraid that your husband calling you jealous is telling. He probably knows you shoud be. Try and get a personal relationship with your neighbour, so that your husband is less involved.”

“You don’t have a lady-across-the-hall problem, you have a husband problem. He’s bullying you over things you should be deciding together. I won’t jump to the conclusion that there’s something inappropriate going on. But, it seems like your husband is at minimum getting off on being a white knight for a single 20s woman who isn’t you. [Not the a**hole],” u/bklynpeter explained.