When you first learn that your teenage daughter is pregnant, you’re likely to be shocked, surprised, disappointed, angry, sad, or a combination of all those emotions. To put it lightly, this news is very overwhelming, and you may not believe what you’re hearing, but you did hear it right. This can be especially shocking if your daughter didn’t appear to be in a relationship or have any sort of romantic interaction. Your baby having a baby can be scary but if it’s happening, it is happening.
First and foremost, take a moment and take a step back to remember that your daughter is still your daughter. Ensure that her pregnancy came about with her consent, and if it did, that makes one part of this difficult situation easier to take. The biggest parenting mistake a mom can make is kicking her daughter out when she tells you she’s pregnant. This is undoubtedly hard to accept, and your daughter has certainly broken some house rules, but she has changed her own life forever and is telling you: her mom. Telling you that she’s pregnant is one of the hardest things she’s ever done, and she came to you for a reason.
Your daughter is experiencing a very grown-up situation yet is still a child herself. Part of her pregnancy does fall into your hands and your daughter will need your support more than ever. Her life is changing and the quicker you accept the situation the better. The longer that a mom chooses to be distant, mad, or disappointed the more it’s damaging and does not belong to the problem at hand. It creates a whole new problem.
It’s unexpected, and you can be sad that it went this way, but as parents, we can often choose to push back against a situation that we can’t change, making it even more difficult, or we come to accept it and form a plan. Your daughter is still yours, and she’s still having a baby. Being hostile will just make things worse.
If your pregnant teenage daughter chooses to have her baby, she will need your support. Getting her education will be a challenge, she’s likely to lose most of her friends and her life is going from child to adult so quickly. It will be hard and she needs her mom.
Kids Health advises parents to work through their feelings and also put themselves in their daughter’s shoes. Teen pregnancies are almost never planned and when they do occur, the teen is usually very scared.
They know the ramifications and significance. A non-supportive family leads to an even worse situation and experience for them. At the heart of it, your daughter is having a baby and making you a grandmother.
Via: Inside Higher Ed (Pexels)
A teen pregnancy requires a huge plan going forward. Depending on whether the father is involved or not, and if his family knows, plays a huge role. Two families are either coming together or two families will be trying to somehow make this teen pregnancy work. You will need to determine where your daughter will live and if she is continuing a relationship with the father of her baby. If your pregnant teen daughter is with the father of her baby, don’t force them to get married because of this. They should get married when they’re ready to and if they love each other, not because they had a baby. Also, try not to see him as an enemy because of what happened.
A lot of your plans also depend on your finances. If you have the money to help support, great. If not, there are options but here are a few first steps:
Psych Central knows this is a stressful situation but would like to remind mothers that this pregnancy isn’t all about them. And it isn’t the worst thing in the world. They do suggest family therapy for any mother/daughter who is struggling in light of this news.
A baby isn’t the end of her life or yours. In fact, you may be surprised by how much joy this baby may bring you.
Hang in there. It will get better.
Source: Kids Health, American Pregnancy Association, Psych Central
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About The Author
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Larissa Marulli is a mom to two young school-aged kids. She received a degree in journalism shortly before having her first child and is a news and features writer for Moms. The proud mom of two is from Colorado and loves the mountains. changing seasons, and hot coffee all year round. Larissa has seen it all and has struggled with the challenges of motherhood. She is getting better with age and prides herself in using the written word to entertain others as well as educate. Larissa loves books, napping, people in small doses, and her family.
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