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Tricky People â Why People You Know Are More Dangerous Than Strangers
Strangers arenât really the people we need to worry about.
Look, we donât mean to be fear mongers, but the truth is that the world just isnât as safe as it used to be. Hell, it might not even have been safe then. Then, we rationalised our environment to make it seem safe, just like we do now with âstranger danger.â Parents, you need to know these things.
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The problem with stranger danger is that it just isnât representative of actually trends about child molesters and abuse. In reality, children are far more likely to be interfered with by a person they already know, or by someone who has manipulated the relationship to make the child trust them. In both cases, they arenât strangers. Yet for some reason, we still fear the weirdo at the park scenario, never thinking that all that weirdo would need to do is introduce himself to your child and BAM, heâs no longer a stranger.
Now, itâs highly likely that there will be an instance where your child will need to approach a stranger. For example, they get lost at a shopping centre. Under the teachings of stranger danger, thereâs nothing they can do but stand there and freak out.
So itâs time to move on from danger to strangers that are safe to talk to. For kids, the best one to teach is a mother with kids. Any child can identify a mum with her kids, and itâs easy for a child to approach a mum, explain that theyâre lost, and ask for her assistance. Mums are almost always happy to help, and natural maternal instincts make them more likely to keep track of the child until theyâre reunited with their families.
It makes sense to be aware of child molesters and abuse if you have children. Itâs a harsh reality, but so is life.
Although it can be hard for them to understand, itâs also necessary for your child to be aware of the threats, but âstranger dangerâ is not the way to do this. Instead, teach your children to be careful of âtricky people.â
tricky people
When you talk to your children about tricky people, itâs easy to describe them in a way that is easy for your child to understand, and easy for you to make clear why they arenât safe.
Tricky people are adults who ask children for help, or tell them to keep a secret from their parents. Keeping a secret includes not telling mum or dad where youâre going, and itâs important that kids understand they should never go anywhere with any adult without permission from their parents.
Any adult? Surely thatâs not the best way to look at it.
Turns out, it is.
A child is far more likely to be abused by someone who they already have a relationship with because most abuse cases follow extended periods of grooming. Children are the focus of that grooming, but in some cases, families are groomed as well. Children who are flying under their parentâs radar, are disconnected from their parents or are insecure are most at risk.
As a parent, itâs often difficult to know what to look for, and what behaviours constitute red flags indicative of abuse or molestation. Most parents simply donât want to think about it, but there are things you need to be looking out for, and behaviours among the adults around you that indicate inappropriateness. Some of these include:
These are just a few of the behaviours, but you can find a full list here. We encourage you to read through it carefully, and keep it in mind.
The key message here is to educate your kids. Obviously, your message needs to be age appropriate, and something that they can understand. But children of all ages can be educated about the basics. Tricky people is a good place to start, as is a proper education into the anatomical names for genitalia. Both make a difference in keeping your child safe as they navigate the world.